"Just let me know if I'm too noisy, mmmkay?"
My upstairs neighbor:
A. Lives solely on a diet of canned meats. Has learned to tell if the can is expired by the sound it makes when thrown down and rolled across the kitchen tile.
B. Smokes crystal-meth and has acute paranoia…is constantly sprinting and/or stumbling across the apartment to the window just to make sure that van’s not out there.
C. Has dreams of becoming a famous break-dancer….right now he’s working on mastering his ‘Power Step Hop’.
D. Is training for the World Jump Rope Championships…plans to compete in the ‘longest nonstop jump rope – indoor’ category.
E. Loads all of his clothes in a wad on one side of the washer, making the washing machine shake and bounce violently for the entire 30 minute spin-cycle.
F. Enjoys startling his secret herd of fainting goats by letting the kangaroos out of their cages.
G. Loves to crank up his stereo and listen to his ‘Sounds of The Bowling Alley – Volume 2′ CD.
H. Has a crutch fetish…but unfortunately is terrible at walking with them.
I. Is severely narcoleptic and has extremely bad inner ear issues.
J. All Of The Above
mbingham666